Top 5
My friend Josh has an insane good sense of humor. Everyone knows that, therefore I'm right. Recently, he scrambled drunk all over Boston in this ridiculous Pancho Villa moustache, talking like some Down's syndrome vic. I called him Mexican Down's Syndrome. The next day, he sent me a text while visiting friends in Rhode Island; they have a baby. Here's the gist:
Josh: Uhoh, somebody's awake.
Me: Give baby a moustache. Milk or magic marker.
Josh: Dirty Sanchez.
So, you can see that's just about the funniest thing that can ever take place in non-verbal communication. And it sparks today's Top 5.
Top 5 signs you are an extremely bad houseguest...
Josh: Uhoh, somebody's awake.
Me: Give baby a moustache. Milk or magic marker.
Josh: Dirty Sanchez.
So, you can see that's just about the funniest thing that can ever take place in non-verbal communication. And it sparks today's Top 5.
Top 5 signs you are an extremely bad houseguest...
posted by J Wilson at Thursday, September 08, 2005
4 Comments:
You invite yourself to be the guest of a houseguest
You jump on someone's bed until you collapse part of his sheetrock wall, then a few days later, you drop his cordless phone into a crock-pot full of cooking oil
You come into a public space where someone composes their thoughts and write "Hello? Echo. Echo," then follow it up with a bitchy tantrum
You show up totally unprepared for winter, rely on the bounty of your hosts, and when they don't convert to your screwball religion, you kill them.
You're Sinbad
You inadvertently break your host's arm while re-enacting your version of the end of TITANIC.
You find the host's stash of plastic worm bait and proceed to slip said worms into every available pot and glass throughout your stay.
Die into fits of laughter at every worm spotting.
Clog toilet with massive, thick, and long poo. Attempt to force down with toilet cleaner scrub brush.
You're Michael Jackson.
Show up uninvited. With your pet. Your INCONTINENT pet.
Use the regular, fluffy bath towels to mop up said incontinence discharge.
Cry whenever your host needs to leave the house, even if it to pick up beer, or to go to work.
You are a vegan.
You are Kevin Federline and Britney Spears.
You don't shut the bathroom door when evacuating bladder/bowels.
You kindly let the cat out for exercise. You don't help post the Lost Cat signs.
You start every sentence with "like."
After a Stoli binge, you refill the host's bottle—from the tap.
You're Jack Black on Coke. Nothing would be standing after that visit. Though the conversation/rant would be funny.
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