Top 5
I just woke up from 15 hours of sleep and I'm actually psyched to get another 7 before morning. I used to never jetlag. Oh well.
My old boss, CB, asked me to come up with excuses for missing work after attending a Thursday night party. I sent her some, but the field is ripe for exploring, so I'm stealing her bit for this week's Top 5. Excelsior!
Top 5 excuses for missing work on a Friday...
Yes, the Correspondence School is again in session.
My old boss, CB, asked me to come up with excuses for missing work after attending a Thursday night party. I sent her some, but the field is ripe for exploring, so I'm stealing her bit for this week's Top 5. Excelsior!
Top 5 excuses for missing work on a Friday...
Yes, the Correspondence School is again in session.
posted by J Wilson at Thursday, November 10, 2005
4 Comments:
Friday is the new Sunday.
Bad bald day.
I'm not coming in. Neither is the proofreader or that new AE.
My doctor says I shouldn't do any heavy lifting. Like carrying my department.
Wait, I'm still employed?! What does it take to get let go here?
1. I seem to have contracted rabies and won't be able to come in today.
2. I'm on a bus to Boston. I really don't know how it happened.
3. I have explosive diarrhea. (N.B.: No one EVER asks about that one.)
4. I'm on strike (for France and Italy only).
5. I've gone totally Slovenian and my relationship with this job is over.
1. Stubbed toe in eager rush to get to job because I love it SO MUCH.
2. My horoscope said it was best to stick close to home today.
3. My dog ate my underwear and showing up to work half-dressed would be unprofessional. What do you mean 'no one would know'? I'd know. And isn't that enough?
4. Boyfriend lost key to the novelty handcuffs.
5. I'm actually a witch and will melt if I come into contact with water. (This excuse only good on rainy days, or if you work in a waterpark.)
1. text them: field research day. be back by lunch.
2. My bus never came. Taxis don't exist in suburban land. My teenage kids (or neighbor's kids) crashed the car.
3. My dog got into the trash and ate half a discarded chicken carcass. We don't know how long it's been there, and had to emergency vet him.
4. I was stuck in the airport overnight due to retarded airlines.
5. (have roommate, friend, or cohabitant call in: this is a true story) I blacked out, naked, still in my towel as I was stepping out of the shower; hit my head, and had to be rushed to the hospital for sutures sans clothes.
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